Whales and Their Auntie Energy
Ok, so here’s the kind of idiot I am: the kind of idiot who listened to Gregorian chants in the mid-90’s and thought they were kinda sexy in a dark, goth way, but who also had a CD of whale songs and thought they were asinine. They were sold next to the crystals, they were new-agey, the definition of cringe if “cringe” had been in use at the time.
What was it about the whale songs that brought them one-half-step too close to sincerity — the worst emotion I could possibly imagine? They were the aural equivalent of those wolf t-shirts, the dark ones with a full moon & a howling wolf, that were worn by acne-studded young men whose display of imagined canine dominance instead advertised their painful search for a pack, any pack, and its accompanying sense of belonging.
Maybe a pack was exactly what I thought I didn’t need.
All that baleen checking in, all that asking each other what’s going on, how’s your auntie, your cousin, your health, your mom. Worse — in the case of orcas, it’s a *maternal* pack. All that feminine energy, all that caring. Is there anything worse? Look, I’ve already eviscerated the poor teenager who did nothing more than wear a t-shirt with a wolf on it. You think I want to look like I’m invested in the outcome here? You think I want to show that I *care*?
If you’ve ever read Margaret Atwood’s Robber Bride, I wanted to be the tiny professor of war who never had emotions and had a happy marriage, and I feared I was the brash, fat, single businesswoman. The woman I knew I wasn’t and would never be was the new-age lady, falling for every relationship and jade egg [caution: be sure you want to click on this link before you do, there is definitely some new age nonsense explained here] equivalent the 80’s threw at her.
And then I went on my honeymoon. We split it in half — for Michael, we crossed the country in a train and visited his friends and family in various cities, and for me, I got it in my head that I wanted to go to Sooke Island, off the coast of Canada.
Why Sooke Island? Who can say? I had never been to Sooke Island, had never even heard of it before I started researching it. It seemed remote, but approachable, I guess, and we could get fairly near it on the train. There was a lovely hotel there. And also, increasingly, I realized I wanted to see the tidal pools. I started checking out field guides to the northwest. And now also, maybe, I realized I wanted to see the whales.
I had always loved animals, but I loved animals the way an urban kid loves animals. I loved going to the natural history museum housed by whatever city we were in. (That, it seemed to me, was appropriately serious, and organized, and perhaps for these reasons, not cringe at all.)
You couldn’t get me to leave the zoo or the aquarium if you were ever foolish enough to take me to one.
I’d spend hours playing with caterpillars or roly-poly bugs, and there’s a semi-cute family story about me sending my allowance to the World Wildlife Fund.
Of course I loved my dog, too.
But I didn’t realize any of this added up to anything. I didn’t know how to take any of it seriously. I also didn’t make the connection between the animals on the CDs and in the museums and the zoos and so on, and any wild place where you might interact with animals. I don’t know where I thought they were all coming from. I guess I kind of thought they were all *selling* something, and that was part of the cringe.
You don’t actually believe that, do you? That stupid whale CD. It’s all manipulated. You’re all manipulated. You’re not a wolf either, dude, get a grip.
I’ve been on a number of whale watching tours since my honeymoon — not more than a dozen, I don’t think, but enough to know that those Sooke trips were extraordinary. First of all, there aren’t that many people in Sooke, so it was just me and Michael on the boat.
Second, we were on what’s called a Zodiac boat, which is basically just a large inflated inner tube with a plastic floor, some inflated “seats”, something to hold onto, and a very fast outboard motor attached. If you can say this about a boat, it does not feel “street legal,” it is absolutely awesome, and if at all possible, it’s what you want to watch wales from.
You are at their level. When the waves come, you ride those waves (hopefully). When the dips come, down you go. And there, in the hard slap of the boat on the water, and the jolt all the way up through your jaw, there’s a whale eye maybe, and bliss.
I was not a much of a photographer at the time — well, I’m still not, but at least now I have slightly better equipment and a bit more experience to cover up that fact. At the time, I’d never photographed a real wild animal, and I had unfortunately picked a particularly difficult one. Unless you’re under the surface with the whale, it’s difficult to capture what’s so thrilling about them — the whole thing is in the feeling, the sense of being next to this enormous, intelligent animal who is certainly aware of you. There’s a sense of vulnerability, and play, and also deep seriousness.
I was with a wild animal, and it seemed to me we cared about the others’ presence, and it was serious.
It took my breath away, it changed my life.
OK, well, sometimes they do something fun above the surface that makes an OK photo, if you are lucky enough to be there to capture it. This was from a different trip.
Speaking of caretaking, thanks so much to all those who sent good wishes to my Mom. She’s still on the path to recovery. It’s a long road, but I’m confident she’ll get there — or perhaps I should say, as a member of her pod, we’ll get there together.
If you’re interested in the human side of caretaking, I was touched this week by this interview with Angela Garbes featured on Anne Helen Peterson’s “Culture Study” Substack, in which Garbes makes the case that caregiving is for everyone — and in fact, that everyone who is able should pitch in to to help provide caregiving. (I plan on picking up Garbes’ book, Essential Labor: Mothering as Social Change, soon.)
Thanks so much to Michèle, who sent me fascinating information on “the 43 million-year-old fossil of a previously unknown amphibious four-legged whale species in Egypt that helps trace the transition of whales from land to sea,” and got me thinking about all of this in the first place. (More information on the paleontological site in Egypt can be found here.)
If you would like to take direct action to designate a new national marine sanctuary (where, among other residents, sperm whales live) off the coast of New York and New Jersey, *now is your chance*! NOAA (the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) has requested comments on a proposed designation of a Hudson Canyon National Marine Sanctuary from June 8, 2022 through August 8, 2022.
You can register your comments at any of these meetings:
Virtual public meeting 1:
Date and Time: Thursday, June 23, 2022, 3:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m. ET
Registration:https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/rt/7151117397571941899
Virtual public meeting 2:
Date and Time: Wednesday, August 3, 2022, 5:00 PM - 7:00 p.m. ET
Registration:https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/rt/7151117397571941899
In-person public meeting 1:
Date and Time: Tuesday, July 19, 2022, 6:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. ET
Location: Alexander Hamilton U.S. Customs House, Naval Officers Room
1 Bowling Green
New York, NY, 10004
In-person public meeting 2:
Date and Time: Thursday, July 21, 2022, 6:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. ET
Location: Monmouth University, Urban Coast Institute, Edison Building Atrium-E201
400 Cedar Ave.
West Long Branch, NJ 07764
Or you can post your comment online.
Finally, believe it or not, all of this has basically been a lead-up to me saying that I’m going to be traveling starting on Thursday — and whale watching will (fingers crossed) be part of my adventures. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do an update next weekend, but hopefully I’ll have some good stuff coming up soon.
I’d love to hear about any whale encounters you might have had, as well as how you felt about wild animals as a kid. Or anything else nature-related.
In the meantime, have a wanderful week.
Have you read any Carl Safina? Notably, "Beyond Words" or "Becoming Wild," for example? They are both essentially about animal intelligence, animal communication, etc. I loved them both. I've been a lover of wild animals my entire life and I've only gotten worse.
You probably know orcas are the "wolves of the sea" too, don't you?